Everyone is vulnerable, it’s ok if you are reading this post and find yourself vulnerable too.
Today, I attended a seminar and let me tell you how it made a deep impression on me.
The lady, Saba Khan, name changed to protect the real identity, asked me what would I do if was not afraid, if i didn’t have fear or things to worry about, if i was allowed to pursue my dreams and passions, how would I make an impact or contribute my bit to transform the world.. it sounds soothing and pleasing to be in such a situation, doesn’t it ?
But deep inside you know that this is like a dream, that you have impending task of earning to build a capital for yourself, you can’t take so much risk at this moment, you have responsibilities towards your parents and siblings, you have fear of failing early in life, you can’t afford to miss going to office despite the fact that you feel alone, locked up, unable to grow, you may be badly struggling to perform because target at hand seems unachievable with the given resources, none of the strategies seem to be working for you, your intentions how so far noble but results are just not up to the mark, you are confused what you want to do with your life, unable to decide whether to get settled in life or to leave the country and pursue an mba from one of the B Schools of the West trying to figure out what your sense of purpose is in this world in the meanwhile.
Leave aside above thoughts which may be big decisions of your life even small things such as, calling someone who has just lost his job, asking a friend for help, taking responsibility for something that went wrong at work, confronting a family member about their behavior, or sitting by the bedside of a friend with a terminal illness. Opportunities for vulnerability present themselves to us every day, the question is whether we will take them or not.
Why do we fear vulnerability? We are afraid that if someone finds out who we really are, they will reject us. Hence we try to appear perfect, strong or intelligent in order to connect with others. But the truth is that when we allow ourselves to be completely open and vulnerable, it is then that we are actually drawn to people who are real and down-to-earth. We all love authenticity and we all know that life is messy and imperfect. We all are drawn to people who act based on their instincts, moreover to someone who is real and and vulnerable gives us the space and permission to be the same.
Vulnerability can lead to hurt but it’s always about the intention – can this be the safest place that we have with each other, you can be afraid with me and I can be afraid with you.
To know that you are seen and loved for who you are and to perceive someone else in all of their vulnerability and love them as they are may just be one of life’s most fulfilling experiences. Next time you feel yourself closed up in fear see if you can make the choice to be courageous and embrace vulnerability.
Because it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.