Embrace Vulnerability !!

Everyone is vulnerable, it’s ok if you are reading this post and find yourself vulnerable too.

Today, I attended a seminar and let me tell you how it made a deep impression on me.

The lady, Saba Khan, name changed to protect the real identity, asked me what would I do if was not afraid, if i didn’t have fear or things to worry about, if i was allowed to pursue my dreams and passions, how would I make an impact or contribute my bit to transform the world.. it sounds soothing and pleasing to be in such a situation, doesn’t it ?

But deep inside you know that this is like a dream, that you have impending task of earning to build a capital for yourself, you can’t take so much risk at this moment, you have responsibilities towards your parents and siblings, you have fear of failing early in life, you can’t afford to miss going to office despite the fact that you feel alone, locked up, unable to grow, you may be badly struggling to perform because target at hand seems unachievable with the given resources, none of the strategies seem to be working for you, your intentions how so far noble but results are just not up to the mark, you are confused what you want to do with your life, unable to decide whether to get settled in life or to leave the country and pursue an mba from one of the B Schools of the West trying to figure out what your sense of purpose is in this world in the meanwhile.

Leave aside above thoughts which may be big decisions of your life even small things such as, calling someone who has just lost his job, asking a friend for help, taking responsibility for something that went wrong at work, confronting a family member about their behavior, or sitting by the bedside of a friend with a terminal illness. Opportunities for vulnerability present themselves to us every day, the question is whether we will take them or not.

Why do we fear vulnerability? We are afraid that if someone finds out who we really are, they will reject us. Hence we try to appear perfect, strong or intelligent in order to connect with others. But the truth is that when we allow ourselves to be completely open and vulnerable, it is then that we are actually drawn to people who are real and down-to-earth. We all love authenticity and we all know that life is messy and imperfect. We all are drawn to people who act based on their instincts, moreover to someone who is real and and vulnerable gives us the space and permission to be the same.

Vulnerability can lead to hurt but it’s always about the intention – can this be the safest place that we have with each other, you can be afraid with me and I can be afraid with you.

To know that you are seen and loved for who you are and to perceive someone else in all of their vulnerability and love them as they are may just be one of life’s most fulfilling experiences. Next time you feel yourself closed up in fear see if you can make the choice to be courageous and embrace vulnerability.

Because it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

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Waves will keep coming !!

I love it when I sit down to write and I have no idea what exactly will come out. But I always know when the timing is right. This one is about waves and how we face them. It’s for everyone who goes into silence zone in his relationships. I am that person. I am trying to let go.

Missing you comes in waves. Like a lot of things in life do.

Grieving, acceptance, moving on … Some explain it as a list of certain steps that you have to go through, but I never feel like that. Instead there is a constant flow of emotions coming and going without a warning, until one day you feel calm. Calmer. Or maybe you just learn how to stay above the water.

First comes the big wave. Shock. Panic. It crushes you and in that second you have no idea how to survive. What is up, what is down, where to swim, how to save yourself. There’s just water all around you and nothing you can hold on to. People usually think that’s the hardest part, but I disagree. See, in that moment you are still fighting. You are not exactly helping yourself, but you are fighting.

After that – nothing. You may call it apathy or depression. You just stop, because you feel powerless. Things happen and you can’t control them, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change them. For me feeling powerless is worse than anything else, I have a hard time accepting that I would do everything for someone and it would still mean nothing. But that’s how it is. And from that moment on – that’s how it’s always going to be.

Luckily, around you life is still happening. You are forced to live, if not for anything else for the fact that you have to work. So you go on and do the things you do and mostly you feel just fine. When you’re surrounded with good people and you do the things you love, you receive good energy and that’s contagious. So sometimes your worries seem so small, irrelevant, even stupid. You think back and you’re asking yourself how the hell did you let something or someone take the life out of you while there is so much happiness out there. You remember that everyone experience hard times and they get through it. You smile, you dance and you are excited again. Doesn’t mean it’s done.

This happens a lot. It can be the most random thing like something that your loved one used to do, a familiar perfume, or a song on the radio. You are driving in your car and you pass through the same road which both of you used to take once upon a time, those ice-cream parlours. It can be something you don’t even recognise and you can’t connect it to the person … But it’s a trigger. And it all comes back.

Some waves are small and some are big, and they keep coming. They keep bringing back that feeling. I don’t fight them anymore. I don’t ignore them and I don’t try to distract myself from them. When I feel “an episode” coming, I let it overtake me, I let myself be in that moment. I hold nothing back. Because I know that this too will pass. So in a way it is just a reminder that I still care, that I am human and that I’ve lived. All of the things that I’ve described can happen in a minute, a day, a month, a year or a lifetime. The thing is that as long as something is important to you, it will come back. Maybe not as strong, but it will.

There is something so divine and profound about waves. How they can be deadly and relaxing all at once. Maybe that’s why I love the oceans.

~A Staunch Believer

Toh kya baat hai !!!

Apne khwabon ke bare mai sochta hoon, toh lagta hai mere pure ho jaye sare khwab, toh kya baat hai,

Khwab me jo dekhta hoon hakikat mai mil jaye, toh kya baat hai,

Jin tammanaao ko lekar aarman sajata hoon, wo tammana puri ho jaye, toh kya baat hai,

Jo aarzoo hai mere, woh hakikat ban jaye, toh kya baat hai,

Mere andhere aashiyane, roshni se jagmga jaye, toh kya bat hai,

Apni manzil tak ke raste ko pura kar loon, toh kya baat hai,

Mujhe mil jaye meri manzil, toh fir kyaa baat hai,

Meri saari chahte yun aasani se pure ho jaye, toh kyaa baat hai.….!!

~A Staunch Believer

Happy B’day Mom ❤❤❤

You would be the strong roots,

If I were a tree.

In my life’s horizon,

You are the endless sea.

Mom, I don’t know how to convey,

How much you mean to me.

There is no limit to my love for you,

You are my entire world, you see.

Age can’t touch you,

Your beauty radiates from within.

Love is the reason for your youthfulness,

Which you keep giving to the family.

Every day seeing your face,

I feel lucky to have you in my destiny.

Wish you loads and loads of love, happiness, health and prosperity mummy.

No words are enough to express our gratitude and love for everything that you have done for us !!

From : Tom & Jerry ❤😍😘😘😘😍❤

WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR!

Intent is far important than content. A child may buy a gift for his parents from the very same pocket money they had given to him. But because intent of the child is selfless, it still feels like a gift when they take it into their hands.

The greatest and noblest leaders of society have always been those who have been straight and forthright in their speeches, policies and activities. These leaders were not orators, but people who spoke with simple words. They were not handsome, rich or beautiful. But people listened to them, followed them. It’s not money, fame or power most people really want. Deep inside, what they actually crave is a sheltering friendship.

A true friend. One who never deserts you. One who is always there when you need him. One who defends, protects and forgives when you have wronged. That is a friend. He or she might be in form of a parent, sibling, relative, colleague, good book or Guru. But a good friend is someone everyone needs.

These friends tell you the bitter truth, but it’s easy for you to swallow because you know their intent is pure. You know they are not using the truth to pull you down or hurt you like others do. You know they are using it to pull you up and heal you, like no one else does. Such friends don’t have political agenda in their lives. True friends have eternal unflinching plans for you.

Friends are committed, determined. They put you before themselves. They love you as themselves! They appreciate you more than the whole world put together. They know you through to your bones. They understand every beat of your heart and every frequency of the thought-waves in your brain. They comprehend the agony of your soul and ecstasy of your dreams. Yet, they manage to handle them all; controlling your tantrums, calming your nerves and cradling your soul. Isn’t this what most people want ? Someone to soothe them and assure them everything will be all right in the end ?

But such friends are so rare! And only true spiritual mentors live on forever. Parents, spouse and friends pass away. Fellow siblings pursue careers in far off lands. A feeling of loneliness and defencelessness descends on people – however rich or powerful they may be – when they begin to lose their nearest and dearest. But this is life’s trademark.

We cannot prevent our closest ones from leaving us alone in this harsh, wild world. But their intent in leaving us is pure too: they are nudging us to take their place as selfless friend and guardian of someone else! We must follow their footsteps and tread their path. As they were unto us, we must be unto others. Even if you can’t be as helpful as the friend who helped and guided you, you can still bear his essential qualities: a pure and pristine intention. Most of us will never do great things, but we can all do small things in this great, selfless way!

Silent Memories !!

Silent Memories are the reason for this post. In my relationships, I go silent just because I believe if you don’t understand my silence, you will never understand my words. 

“Writing is like breathing, it’s possible to learn to do it well, but the point is to do it no matter what.” – Julia Cameron 

It does not matter how long or slow or fast you choose to write, how many bends you choose to follow, how many stops you make along the way.

Sometimes you cannot see the bigger picture until you are silent in the middle of an ocean, or speeding 120km/hr down a highway. And when the days get hard do not forget your semicolons – for the times you chose not to end a sentence because there was more to say.

That every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. May be you might not want the story to end, instead of argument and confrontation you may prefer going silent, to preserve warmth and affection of the precious moments and memories which you shared.

But when the story drags on too long and you forget how to write, forgive yourself and remember to keep trying, keep writing. Scribble over newspapers and foggy car windows, Scrawl across bathroom walls and between the lines of fingers traced across your skin.

Write until you no longer can, until you forget the way it hurts between the breaths you take deep down, Until you remember the fresh taste of morning air – before it seared your lungs and left you gasping, choking.

Write and do not stop. Do not be afraid of broken hearts or broken bones, Only be afraid of broken words. Anyday I prefer having silence over broken words.

It does not matter how you write, There will always be someone to find your story beautiful. To sing along into the spaces between your middles, your ends and your beginnings.

~A Staunch Believer