Happy 21st B’day Shreyu, Me Loves You !!! ❤❤❤

Some of my best childhood memories are anchored by the time spent with you. These are the simple times that are swept away when life’s tide brings responsibilities aplenty. Our relationship is a funny one. We fight like cats and dogs but when the dust settles, deep down in our hearts we know that they will always be there for each other. 21 stanzas below is just a small attempt to wish you a unique happy birthday.

1) Happy memories of childhood,

Sweet nostalgia of my teens

With you around by my side

The best of life I have seen

So much happiness

I owe to you, dear bro

I am indebted to you for life

Is what I want you to know

I love you

Continue reading Happy 21st B’day Shreyu, Me Loves You !!! ❤❤❤

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To myself..

Today I feel the urge to express myself.

If you trust someone never question them, you do not know under what circumstance the other person might be in or was in and what led him or her take that decision. You may feel irritated, dejected and hurt, you may feel shattered too but it’s not about you at the moment, it’s about the other person.

You are a fighter and shall rise again but destroying your bond or trust may cause irreversible damage to other person. Mean or selfish behaviour from someone whom you trusted will obviously unsettle you temporarily but hold on to your nerves because it was your assessment that you trusted someone in the first place.

If other person doesn’t wish to respond or have heart to discuss, it’s completely fine because it implies they did not take the decision out of their free will and were suppressed by somthing else, some external conditions or fears or mind gaps. It may also imply that they didn’t trust you as much as you trusted them. It may also imply they do not have the courage to face you and tell you what made them go against you.

But if at that moment you don’t be patient or calm and instead lose your mind and confront directly, it reflects how unaccepting mean and selfish person you yourself are.

Decison taken by somebody who you trust, despite it being against you – have a heart to accept it. That defines your character. That gives you the grit. That gives you the strength to trust others again.

Conditions, situations and circumstances change and change quickly, but it’s only the trust you have in a person which helps you sail, if you allow your trust to break so easily then you would never be able to become the person that you have dreamt yourself to be.

“Trusting someone was your decision, Proving you right is their decision.”

~A Staunch Believer

Kavnai – Lake in the Air !!

This was one of the best trekking experience and connect with nature which I had in a while. Kavnai fort lies in Igatpuri, Nasik. Me with a fellow office colleague snehal and her friends set ourselves up for this trek.

It had been months since I last got up @ 4 a.m. in the morning. We met at Dadar station and took a Kasara bound train on the Central railway. Few colleagues and our trek guide joined from kurla, ghatkopar, thane and dombivali but all scattered in different compartments thanks to our poor coordination.

Enjoyed all favourite songs in my playlist while gazing at the greenery from my window seat. It had been a while since I made new friends and I was excited and looked forward to this trek. We all finally met at Kasara station and had a quick introduction round.

Without wasting much time we barged into the jeep which was waiting for us at Kasara. We left for Igatpuri, it was drizzling mildly and I could feel the weather enriching my soul. Pee break was accompanied by light breakfast. I was the odd one out in the group as I was the only Gujarati guy while all other members were Maharashtrians. They conversed in their mother tongue, majority of which I could comprehend. I tried to speak best of all marathi vocabulary which came to my mind, it was good enough for my contribution in the conversations. We reached our base around 11.

We started climbing and I was happy to see another trekkers group who had also come for this trek. More the merrier. It was beautiful. We had lots of fun, masti and gupshups. I had started recognizing members by their names now and within 3 hours we all became such good friends. Everyone from diverse backgrounds and different experiences having one thing in common – love for trekking and mother nature. We supported each other, cared for each other, took so many photos, boomerangs and selfies.

But the most amazing experience was when we reached at the top. It was pouring heavily accompanied by gusty winds which had depleted visibility by more than 90%. Temperature was around 7 to 8 degrees and we were all completely drenched. Total delight to see a big natural lake at the top of the mountain, it seemed as if lake was floating in the air, couldnt have imagined in wildest of thoughts that there would be a lake this big the size on top of a mountain.

Everyone was elated, especially jagruti, and even though our hands shook due to freezing cold weather we couldn’t resist going near the lake and enjoying and splashing the lake water. It was crystal clear as if it was water from heaven. Neither the poor visibility nor our frozen hands could avoid us from capturing those wonderful moments. We all sat down to munch some snacks and fruits before we started descending.

We reached the base camp within an hour and half. Clock had struck 4. Being a gujju, any trip is incomplete without thepla and chutney. Tiffin box came handy and it acted as starters while full course meal awaited us at half an hour drive. Everyone just loved the homemade snack and asked me to double the quantity from next trek onwards.

We boarded CST bound train from Kasara. Shared all the pics, made WhatsApp Trek group, chit chatted about the thrilling experience. It was a day well spent. Ajinkya, Jagruti, Snehal, Shambhu, Sachin and Chetan : cheers to our maiden trek and friendship. Let’s adventure once atleast every month as decided. Let the spirits burn !!!

Random…

It’s been quite some time that this space has been neglected but that’s because life is unfolding at a faster rate. So many twists and turns, uncertainities increasing by the day, no cheat codes to sail through and not in pink of health (infact in yellow of heatlh – jaundice *sigh* )

Basically not in control, of things going on within me as well as things around me. Once again life has brought me on crossroads of taking the traditional path vs shifting gears and risking it to the unknown.

I have always believed and relied on my gut, and this time decided not to join Kores, may be a mistake in current scenario and scheme of things in short run, but i am hopeful that taking the risk of staying back and preparing myself for a newer role should give it’s own rewards in times to come.

Also working on widening the ambit to cover Insurance, Investments and Tax consultancy services and leverage the 25+ yrs client network at disposal. Obviously dad would be front-ending it and I would only lend support in the initial set up. This should be up and running post diwali.

Also holy festival of Paryushan being around the corner so preparations going on for that too. It’s my belief that being a jain, I should fast all the 8 days atleast once in their life time and I think it’s opportune time for me to do it. Provided health permits and I fully recover.

What else, had a week off from office and got superbored on my bed. Only high part was getting pampered by parents at home, also tick mark to all the pending movies in my hard disk. Finished boring tasks long overdue such as analysing mutual fund schemes, preparing net worth statement, discovering a deposit, eating raw sugarcane (try it’s a painful task), underwent blood tests, 3 visits at a tantrik’s place to do some rituals so that jaundice would go away. Yes that more or less sums up life currently.

Hoping for few miracles in the run up to last quarter ahead of my 26th b’day.

Embrace Vulnerability !!

Everyone is vulnerable, it’s ok if you are reading this post and find yourself vulnerable too.

Today, I attended a seminar and let me tell you how it made a deep impression on me.

The lady, Saba Khan, name changed to protect the real identity, asked me what would I do if was not afraid, if i didn’t have fear or things to worry about, if i was allowed to pursue my dreams and passions, how would I make an impact or contribute my bit to transform the world.. it sounds soothing and pleasing to be in such a situation, doesn’t it ?

But deep inside you know that this is like a dream, that you have impending task of earning to build a capital for yourself, you can’t take so much risk at this moment, you have responsibilities towards your parents and siblings, you have fear of failing early in life, you can’t afford to miss going to office despite the fact that you feel alone, locked up, unable to grow, you may be badly struggling to perform because target at hand seems unachievable with the given resources, none of the strategies seem to be working for you, your intentions how so far noble but results are just not up to the mark, you are confused what you want to do with your life, unable to decide whether to get settled in life or to leave the country and pursue an mba from one of the B Schools of the West trying to figure out what your sense of purpose is in this world in the meanwhile.

Leave aside above thoughts which may be big decisions of your life even small things such as, calling someone who has just lost his job, asking a friend for help, taking responsibility for something that went wrong at work, confronting a family member about their behavior, or sitting by the bedside of a friend with a terminal illness. Opportunities for vulnerability present themselves to us every day, the question is whether we will take them or not.

Why do we fear vulnerability? We are afraid that if someone finds out who we really are, they will reject us. Hence we try to appear perfect, strong or intelligent in order to connect with others. But the truth is that when we allow ourselves to be completely open and vulnerable, it is then that we are actually drawn to people who are real and down-to-earth. We all love authenticity and we all know that life is messy and imperfect. We all are drawn to people who act based on their instincts, moreover to someone who is real and and vulnerable gives us the space and permission to be the same.

Vulnerability can lead to hurt but it’s always about the intention – can this be the safest place that we have with each other, you can be afraid with me and I can be afraid with you.

To know that you are seen and loved for who you are and to perceive someone else in all of their vulnerability and love them as they are may just be one of life’s most fulfilling experiences. Next time you feel yourself closed up in fear see if you can make the choice to be courageous and embrace vulnerability.

Because it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Waves will keep coming !!

I love it when I sit down to write and I have no idea what exactly will come out. But I always know when the timing is right. This one is about waves and how we face them. It’s for everyone who goes into silence zone in his relationships. I am that person. I am trying to let go.

Missing you comes in waves. Like a lot of things in life do.

Grieving, acceptance, moving on … Some explain it as a list of certain steps that you have to go through, but I never feel like that. Instead there is a constant flow of emotions coming and going without a warning, until one day you feel calm. Calmer. Or maybe you just learn how to stay above the water.

First comes the big wave. Shock. Panic. It crushes you and in that second you have no idea how to survive. What is up, what is down, where to swim, how to save yourself. There’s just water all around you and nothing you can hold on to. People usually think that’s the hardest part, but I disagree. See, in that moment you are still fighting. You are not exactly helping yourself, but you are fighting.

After that – nothing. You may call it apathy or depression. You just stop, because you feel powerless. Things happen and you can’t control them, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change them. For me feeling powerless is worse than anything else, I have a hard time accepting that I would do everything for someone and it would still mean nothing. But that’s how it is. And from that moment on – that’s how it’s always going to be.

Luckily, around you life is still happening. You are forced to live, if not for anything else for the fact that you have to work. So you go on and do the things you do and mostly you feel just fine. When you’re surrounded with good people and you do the things you love, you receive good energy and that’s contagious. So sometimes your worries seem so small, irrelevant, even stupid. You think back and you’re asking yourself how the hell did you let something or someone take the life out of you while there is so much happiness out there. You remember that everyone experience hard times and they get through it. You smile, you dance and you are excited again. Doesn’t mean it’s done.

This happens a lot. It can be the most random thing like something that your loved one used to do, a familiar perfume, or a song on the radio. You are driving in your car and you pass through the same road which both of you used to take once upon a time, those ice-cream parlours. It can be something you don’t even recognise and you can’t connect it to the person … But it’s a trigger. And it all comes back.

Some waves are small and some are big, and they keep coming. They keep bringing back that feeling. I don’t fight them anymore. I don’t ignore them and I don’t try to distract myself from them. When I feel “an episode” coming, I let it overtake me, I let myself be in that moment. I hold nothing back. Because I know that this too will pass. So in a way it is just a reminder that I still care, that I am human and that I’ve lived. All of the things that I’ve described can happen in a minute, a day, a month, a year or a lifetime. The thing is that as long as something is important to you, it will come back. Maybe not as strong, but it will.

There is something so divine and profound about waves. How they can be deadly and relaxing all at once. Maybe that’s why I love the oceans.

~A Staunch Believer

Toh kya baat hai !!!

Apne khwabon ke bare mai sochta hoon, toh lagta hai mere pure ho jaye sare khwab, toh kya baat hai,

Khwab me jo dekhta hoon hakikat mai mil jaye, toh kya baat hai,

Jin tammanaao ko lekar aarman sajata hoon, wo tammana puri ho jaye, toh kya baat hai,

Jo aarzoo hai mere, woh hakikat ban jaye, toh kya baat hai,

Mere andhere aashiyane, roshni se jagmga jaye, toh kya bat hai,

Apni manzil tak ke raste ko pura kar loon, toh kya baat hai,

Mujhe mil jaye meri manzil, toh fir kyaa baat hai,

Meri saari chahte yun aasani se pure ho jaye, toh kyaa baat hai.….!!

~A Staunch Believer